take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
