she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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