didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
