long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
