you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There are leaves in my underwear?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
