Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
