If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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