I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
