I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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