I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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