i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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