just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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