It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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