We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
