i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
