Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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