when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He has the fingertips of a God
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