Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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