the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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