Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
