I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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