The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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