this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
