I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
