i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
