I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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