grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
