You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
