are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
