my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
