You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
id be glad to
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
