No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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