idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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