Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
