She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Acid is not a monday night drug
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
