didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
