if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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