I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
