her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
