I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
