i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He has the fingertips of a God
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