He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
