Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What a dumb baby whore.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
