let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
