we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
