im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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