So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
