I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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