Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
