Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
