ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
